Inside the Mind of a Hard Core Recruiter

Punk Rock HR Pro, Laurie Ruettimann, started an HR controversy on her blog this week by suggesting that Thank You notes are a waste of time and trees for interviewers. She does however believe every gift received requires a thank you note (Laurie, in advance, I can tell you I will not be sending you a thank you note for my Christmas present…BTW, do you need my Christmas list or are you just going to surprise me?!)

John Hollon disagreed, saying thank you notes are classy and thoughtful.

Here’s the thing:
1) Laurie is always right.
2) I usually agree with Laurie and by the transitive property of “rightness,” then I am also right.
3) I was a recruiter, and can share stories about what happens to your thank you notes behind the scenes.

I’ll preface all of these stories by saying I was a pretty harsh recruiter. I worked for a top-notch, highly competitive IT consulting firm and only hired people I was willing to put my name behind.

So, when I received a thank you note, I rarely if ever read it. In my book, that’s a notch against you. Your skills and experience should stand on their own. The only person I know who still writes thank you notes is my grandma (and she still wears stockings too!). A thank you note shows desperation in my mind. Wow, you obviously think I still need to be swayed so you sent me a hand-written note? No wonder you’re out of an IT job, dude! Have you heard of email? While I was busy getting paper cuts from your stupid envelope, I could have been spending my time getting you an interview with the client!!!

I may seem harsh on this topic, but as an ISTJ, I believe my rules make total sense. Here are a few other things that ruled a candidate out of my pipeline:

• I began an interview by saying “Tell me a little bit about your current role.” Mr. I’m Too Sexy For This Job says “Don’t you have my resume?” Dude, are you serious? I took the resume, wadded it up in a ball, opened the door, tossed it out and told him we could start again. I thought that was a fun move, but in hindsight it would have been way cooler if I’d said, “Yep, guess that’s all I need. See ya later!”
• On an application, never write the words “See Resume.” If I wanted to look at another piece of paper I wouldn’t have requested the information on the application. I may have a good reason for wanting the information written in your own handwriting (i.e. background check paperwork) or I may not (I’m crazy like that). Either way, if you want the job- when a recruiter says jump you say how high! The underlying impression I get if you act like filling out paperwork is a bother is that my efforts are not worth your time. I worked my bootie off for a star candidate, and I expect nothing less in return!
• When asked to re-work your resume, never ever ever express frustration. Recruiters see hundreds of resumes a day and knows what it takes to get attention. When the recruiter asks you to revise the resume they are trying to help. If you’re unsure of what they are looking for- ask for advice! One thing recruiters love to do is tell you what they know!

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