I’ve Been Working on the Railroad

It hasn’t quite been “all the live-long day”, but lately I’ve been riding Amtrak up and down the East Coast as an alternative to flying.  In general I find it comfortable, relaxing and a very pleasing way to travel.  You can plug in your cellphone or laptop, stroll to the cafe car for a coffee and pasty, and generally work/play/sleep as you see fit.  However, there is one thing about riding the rails that I’ve found quite surprising – passengers engage in ridiculously loud and highly confidential cell phone conversations for all to hear!

Let me offer just a few examples:

• “Jack” coos sweet nothings to a woman in NYC for ten minutes, reassuring her that they’ll be together again soon.  Another call comes in, he curses, quickly wraps up with his lady friend and then flashes over to talk to his wife about their severely ill child.  ”Tell him Daddy’s on his way home and will be at the hospital soon.”  How about telling him Daddy has been having an affair in New York while he’s struggling with his respirator.
• “Nancy” sits with a colleague and reviews the terms and conditions of a hostile takeover of an extremely large publicly traded company (I’ll keep the name private here but she managed to scream it out ~100 times).  She then dials into a conference call with the board of the takeover target and begins to verbally discuss issue after issue that this firm is struggling with.  It’s a public beating.  I’m sure Nancy’s non-disclosure agreement didn’t control for a trainload of strangers, some of whom just might know how to place on online stock trade.
• “Henry” is an Army Lieutenant on his way to a briefing at the Pentagon in Washington, DC.  According to his call, Henry has a boyfriend.  This is not a problem in my book.  What is a problem is discussing your past missions, where you’re headed, what you’re doing, who you’re meeting with and where you’ll be deployed next for a “highly covert operation”.  Covert Henry?  The seven-year-old next me even rolled her eyes in disappointment at that one.

So here’s the deal people.  If you have a very important call to take or are dealing with sensitive information of any kind, please do the world a favor and find a quiet and secure place to chat.  I know this issue isn’t limited to trains, but if I were in the blackmailing business I would ride the Acela from Boston to DC once a week to fill my quota.  Take this one piece of advice or please keep thy information spewing pie hole closed.  The rest of us thank you in advance for your cooperation.  Let’s keep the (quiet) conversation going.

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